so, our girl rory gilmore is dating pete campbell (real world trans: alexis bledel is dating vincent kartheiser). well, maybe not DATING him but, at the very least, making out with him on cross-country flights.
which is… interesting? weird? hella creepy?
no judgement. just saying.
this news was obviously first brought to us on the internets- as all things are. but, if you read the original report in the print edition of us weekly- which was in one of those wonky sidebar boxes that visually positions the information it’s conveying as being way low on the totem pole of important things- some interesting “facts” emerge.
in the middle (ahem…) paragraph, especially.
i’ma ignore the unironic use of the word “smooching” (which leads me to surmise that us weekly is penned by centenarians) and concentrate on the parens. did you catch all that was going on there?
(a) they were in coach.
(b) they weren’t sitting together.
(c) they both had middle seats.
stars… JUST LIKE US!
this raises some questions.
how much did “all of the passengers” (particularly the ones sitting next to them) heart the jostling that undoubtedly accompanied the smoochfest? please. dear four people affected by this story, write me. tell me how the smoochfest went down. or did you miss it entirely, because you were conked out and enjoying all the legroom provided by the aisle?
secondly, where would we rank alexis bledel and vincent kartheiser in the hierarchy of stardom? B+? A-? does the nostalgia for the gilmore girls and the general reprehensibility of pete campbell push her slightly above him, though she hasn’t been working much since gg ended and he’s a regular on one of the most critically acclaimed shows in television history? i like to think that, in between smooches, they create scatter plots in an effort to calibrate their fames.
lastly, did they book their flights at the last minute? could they not get upgrades? OR- and here’s the alternative reading- they did not ask for upgrades?
fruitful lines of inquiry that lead us to this intellectual dead-end: how do you read a man who doesn’t have a toilet? that is what i do not know.