Category Archives: letters to lohan

dear lindsay lohan, THIS is how it’s done

Posted on 5 June 2013 by

hey, remember last fall when the lifetime channel tried to get us to believe this? and the whole world heaved a collective hell no?

Posted in letters to lohan, liz the one and only | 1 Comment

an open letter to lindsay lohan on the occasion of the last three weeks having been a total trainwreck of stupid

Posted on 26 March 2013 by

dear lindsay lohan, i’ve taken an accidental month-long blogging break in large part because there is just too much to take in. what with beiber’s meltdown in london, the DOC/mantel plastic bride/royal bodies smackdown, a piece i’ve been trying to … Continue reading →

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an open letter to lindsay lohan on the occasion of her arrest

Posted on 29 November 2012 by

dear lindsay lohan, what the hell?

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an open letter to lindsay lohan regarding the upcoming trainwreck that is the lifetime movie “liz and dick,” and which is very nearly upon us

Posted on 13 November 2012 by

OH.MY.GAWD.LI.LO. LIZ AND DICK IS UPON US!!!! this is a major excitingment.

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an open letter to lindsay lohan re: her continuing vehicular + cinematic terrorization of the public at-large, and/or the release of the promotional poster for the approaching trainwreck that is the lifetime movie “liz & dick”

Posted on 19 September 2012 by

dear lindsay lohan, (damn you look like joan collins!) you hit a dude with your car. and then you walked away. and then you were arrested.

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an open to lindsay lohan on the occasion of this, the upcoming leg of the trainwreck that is her 2012 comeback (ie. being cast w/ carlos irwin estevez in “scary movie 5″)

Posted on 10 August 2012 by

dear li.lo, it’s been awhile. that’s not because you’ve been quiet or anything, because, i mean, when are you ever? no, no, you’ve been très très busy shopping and crashing katy perry’s party and getting yourself denounced by liz taylor’s family. and i … Continue reading →

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an open letter to lindsay lohan re: the unstoppable trainwreck that is “liz and dick” (and the [inevitable] EPIC fur hat)

Posted on 22 June 2012 by

dear lindsay lohan, i mean, we knew this day would come. not to sound smug but it was quite obvious from that get-go that somewhere in the never-ending saga of you filming the unstoppable trainwreck that is the lifetime movie “liz … Continue reading →

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an open letter to lindsay lohan on the 2nd day of principle shooting for the unstoppable trainwreck that is the lifetime movie “liz and dick”

Posted on 5 June 2012 by

dear lindsay lohan, so i was just sitting here thinking: hmmm… li.lo’s been awful quiet lately. what the eff is up? and then i google and god giveth. turns out today you started principle photography on your forthcoming historical masterpiece, … Continue reading →

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an open letter to lindsay lohan on the occasion of her official casting in the forthcoming lifetime movie “liz and dick”

Posted on 24 April 2012 by

dear lindsay lohan, you are officially playing elizabeth taylor in the lifetime movie liz & dick. presumably wearing this enormous sweatshirt with her image on it was your audition… how has it come to this?

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an open letter to lindsay lohan

Posted on 2 March 2012 by

dear lindsay lohan, what the eff is up? i know, i know. DRUGS. no, no, no, you say, because you’re all clean now. to that i say, nuh uh. but still. i don’t think drugs alone are responsible for this. … Continue reading →

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