on jessica simpsons’s memoir

i am giving myself exactly one hour and thirty-eight minutes in which to write about this. because there are 19 papers that need to be graded and i’m leaving for an estate sale with a friend at 9:45, but there are things i gots to say.

THE JESSICA SIMPSON MEMOIR IS AMAZING. Continue reading

a deep reading of t.s. eliot’s letter from the beyond

dear people, yesterday, mister thomas stearns eliot spoke to us from the beyond and revealed himself to be the petty jackass we always thought he was.

this may seem a digression but then that just means you never knew me in my alternate life as someone who twice attended and twice taught at the t.s. eliot international summer school. which was A Time, let me tell you.

to the degree that when tom hiddleston wore that i ❤ t.s. shirt, much of my enthusiasm about it lay in the fact that the eliot school started the following week and we could use it as the opening slide of a powerpoint presentation.

that said, in all honesty, i do not think i’ve thought about this man AT ALL in the last two years. things were going on, time passed, i taught rhetoric and tried to reshape my students’ perceptions of who can be a writer by engineering syllabi almost entirely devoid of white dudes. which means i’ve no longer spent summers thinking about the emily hale letters.

but, whew boy! here they are. Continue reading

the pathos of jackie kennedy dolls on etsy, 3.0

people! the end of the year– nay, THE DECADE– is nigh. you know what that means… lots o lists, lots o recaps, blahbity blah blah.

but here, in jackie glamo-land, by now you maybe know it means the return of everyone’s second favorite genre (behind emotions via britney): oline trekks deep into the world of jackie dolls on etsy in order to assess our existential situation and, maybe just maybe– amid the doll feet and the uncanny– finds a glimmer of hope.

BRACE. and you’re welcome.

Continue reading

short thoughts on aunt becky and the unscrupulous people

yo. by popular demand/literally one reader’s personal request, i am here to talk about varsity blues.

no. not the james van der beek classic. dry your eyes.

nope. i’m here to talk about the modern day movie of the week starring the dowager queen of the hallmark channel, aunt becky.

ie. lori loughlin. Continue reading

on andrew garfield’s jeans

by way of preface… my dear friend EL and i have a friendship ya’ll should all be jealous of.

for many, many reasons, one of which is that, because as part of a larger story that i will not go into here, in the last year we have often communicated through andrew garfield memes.

specifically blonde andrew garfield, to be clear. Continue reading