always use the active voice. that is what mrs. reynolds taught us in AP english. that is what so many of my english teachers have told me since. what they did not tell us was the cost. (<- engaging opening anecdote)
they made it sound so easy. dear people, it is not. (<- connecting with the audience through a direct address)
the thing is, the whole language works against us. the sentence structures work against us. the institutions do not love us and neither do our words.
because it is far, far easier, in english at least, for me to have been raped than for a man to have raped me, for men to have raped me. Continue reading
whew, PEOPLE. if ever there was a day built for rage?! and it is not yet noon US EST!
between the horrifying story of a police officer murdering an unnamed Black man in minneapolis, the video of amy cooper calling the police on a birder who asked her to leash her dog, the president of notre dame’s op-ed in the times about the risks we must all sustain for the education of students (ie. the continuation of american football), AND the president of purdue’s op-ed in the post about moral responsibility of reopening in the fall (ie. capitalism and the continuation of american football), i would like to go back to bed and spend the day reading my trashy novel about a kept woman falling madly in love a rake with waterloo PTSD while teaching him how to cheat at vingt-et-un in regency england.
ALAS, NO. i cannot do that, because today is also the day that the daily mail posted this nonsense.
which, if we’re in some sort of white supremacy/white fragility/white tears carnival time– and that does increasingly seem to be what was meant by “reopening”– hardly ranks supreme. but it is nonetheless, stupidly consistent with this broader alignment of the racist stars and worth a gander, especially due to the subtlety of the pandering and the broader agenda of thumbs up-ing white femininity. (please, lawd, this is not the gemini season i wanted.) Continue reading
yup. ’tis time. saddle up.
as you know, this ain’t our first rodeo. we’ve peered deep into the hell hole of jackie kennedy doll photographs on etsy multiple times before.
somehow, amid 15 moves and 14 jobs and myriad other responsibilities, over the last five years, i have produced a rich seam of informal, doctoral-level scholarship on dolls. you are welcome.
riddle me this: are you familiar with why prince andrew is awful? back up. do you even know who prince andrew is?? much less, why he need be deemed awful?
oh hayyy, let’s talk.
i am giving myself exactly one hour and thirty-eight minutes in which to write about this. because there are 19 papers that need to be graded and i’m leaving for an estate sale with a friend at 9:45, but there are things i gots to say.
THE JESSICA SIMPSON MEMOIR IS AMAZING. Continue reading
dear people, yesterday, mister thomas stearns eliot spoke to us from the beyond and revealed himself to be the petty jackass we always thought he was.
this may seem a digression but then that just means you never knew me in my alternate life as someone who twice attended and twice taught at the t.s. eliot international summer school. which was A Time, let me tell you.
to the degree that when tom hiddleston wore that i ❤ t.s. shirt, much of my enthusiasm about it lay in the fact that the eliot school started the following week and we could use it as the opening slide of a powerpoint presentation.
that said, in all honesty, i do not think i’ve thought about this man AT ALL in the last two years. things were going on, time passed, i taught rhetoric and tried to reshape my students’ perceptions of who can be a writer by engineering syllabi almost entirely devoid of white dudes. which means i’ve no longer spent summers thinking about the emily hale letters.
but, whew boy! here they are. Continue reading
people! the end of the year– nay, THE DECADE– is nigh. you know what that means… lots o lists, lots o recaps, blahbity blah blah.
but here, in jackie glamo-land, by now you maybe know it means the return of everyone’s second favorite genre (behind emotions via britney): oline trekks deep into the world of jackie dolls on etsy in order to assess our existential situation and, maybe just maybe– amid the doll feet and the uncanny– finds a glimmer of hope.
BRACE. and you’re welcome.
this is obviously how all good news is spread.
but, no, really. I AM HERE FOR IT.
yo. by popular demand/literally one reader’s personal request, i am here to talk about varsity blues.
no. not the james van der beek classic. dry your eyes.
nope. i’m here to talk about the modern day movie of the week starring the dowager queen of the hallmark channel, aunt becky.
ie. lori loughlin. Continue reading