as it winds down, some thoughts on THE SUMMER OF EXPLOSIVE DRAMA-BOMBSHELLS and gossip fatigue

oh, ya”ll.

but then maybe you don’t even care about gossip (in which case, why are you here?) so you’ve no idea the number of explosive bombshells we’ve been dealt these past few months. i will recap. Continue reading


i’m working on a theoretical something and i don’t know if i even buy it, so i’ma throw it out to the internets.

here’s my deal:

is “narrative interdependence” a thing?

say you always see two stories presented together. to pick at random… hey, howsabout jackie and liz?

so jackie (and we’re talking 1962- so onassis has not yet happened) is quite obviously the positive example, the woman all women are supposed to want to be like. and liz is the baddie. and they’re presented together in magazines like A LOT. Continue reading

an open to lindsay lohan on the occasion of this, the upcoming leg of the trainwreck that is her 2012 comeback (ie. being cast w/ carlos irwin estevez in “scary movie 5”)

dear li.lo,

it’s been awhile.

that’s not because you’ve been quiet or anything, because, i mean, when are you ever? no, no, you’ve been très très busy shopping and crashing katy perry’s party and getting yourself denounced by liz taylor’s family.

and i swear i thought you had another car wreck in there- because, really, has there been a single week since 2010 in which you have not wrecked your car?- but apparently not. my bad. (but wait. in the time that it’s taken me to write this, you did nearly kill a valet.) Continue reading

jackie onassis, the porno, the photog, the flip and k.stew

in the episode of jackie onassis, the swedish porno and the photog, i posited the notion that this was a tale wherein jackie, a character who so rarely seems in control of her narrative, is cast as a dominatrix and she is, undoubtedly, in charge. but is that true? can one ever control narrative?

in the immediate aftermath of the i am curious (yellow) incident, the tabloids sallied forth to wrest any victory away from her with an especially shrill, NO! she didn’t do it! she couldn’t have! jackie was framed, ya’ll! Continue reading

jackie onassis, the photog and the swedish porno

folks, it’s all “why jackie can never get enough” all the time these days, so bear with me. because i’m wading through an intellectual morass trying to arrive at Deep Thoughts on “life-fictions” and the only way i know how to power through that is by writing about jackie onassis eating ice cream.

here is my favoritest thing about “why jackie can never get enough.” (well, one of them.)

it’s an article built around a photograph of jackie salaciously licking ice cream and we get one measly little sexy detail. Continue reading