an open letter to lindsay lohan on the occasion of her arrest

dear lindsay lohan, what the hell?

we, as a world, are still reeling from the trainwreck of LIZ & DICK (i’ve not even had time to finish watching the dang thing) and already the train of your life has derailed again.

li.lo, there’s an alternate universe in which i could support you, maybe even cheer you on. a universe where you stay sober and don’t beat up people in bars and get yourself arrested for third-degree assault.

sadly, li.lo, we do not live in that universe.

this morning, in new york, you were arrested for (allegedly) chris browning someone in a bar. after a justin beiber concert, no less.

in addition to your arrest in new york, three additional charges were filed against you in LA. dude. in a single day- nay! not even a whole day but before 9:30 a.m. PST- you wracked up four charges on two coasts.

i would like to point out that elizabeth taylor was married a lot, condemned a lot, drank a lot and died often. but she was never arrested.

love,

o.

(photographs via)

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