assorted analysis of the revelation that jason priestley is writing a memoir

Jason-jason-priestley-3934727-600-759

firstly, OMG.

Screen shot 2013-08-06 at 8.08.09 PM

THIS IS HAPPENING.

that said, does it really need to happen? i’m not so sure. i mean, i’ll take it, don’t get me wrong. but it is not of the utmost importance. ahhhhhhndrea’s memoir? hells yeah. brenda’s memoir? YES PLEASE. (like, where she tells us real stuff, not where she guides us on life… i’m talking posh spice: the memoir, by shannen doherty)

brandon the memoir?

Jason-Priestley-and-Jennie-Garth-jason-priestley-and-jennie-garth-17666424-1880-1447

yeah, but also meh.

because everything is so much simpler when viewed through the prism of saved by the bell, let’s cast this in saved by the bell terms… it’s like slater: the memoir, non?

sauves-par-le-gong-020

which could, admittedly, take some interesting turns…

tumblr_lhlzh8R9kg1qc46e7o1_400

and of course you’d read it (i say that like it’s a given when, really, has anyone alive read screech’s memoir? is this because we don’t really read memoirs of the stars of the shows of our childhoods or because he was channeling david copperfield on the cover OR because it was screech? riddle me that.), but wouldn’t you rather hear about zack or kelley or jessie? i mean, jessie is RIPE with drama.

excited

aren’t we all dying to know what it felt like to be SO EXCITED?

JESSIE-SPANO-CAFFEINE

so my point is, jason priestley’s memoir is exciting (i am SO EXCITED), but i hope this is a gateway memoir… the beginning of a 90210 memoir boxed set.

90210585

we need them all! scott ‘guns can be fun’ scanlon included!!

but back to jason (see! he’s so cute and can’t even hold my attention for the length of this post!)…

teen beat

i want the scoops… ALL OF THEM.

like, what was it like dating emily valentine in real life? and why did she wear this turban?

ch1

what was it like surviving that really really awful crash?

but chief among all of the things we need to know: how tall is jason priestley?

because TRUTH: according to All of the Internet, he is five feet tall.

(fyi, when you google image search ‘jason priestly short’ you get this photo of zack morris is overalls…)

mpg_1302189486

but, no, really, he is- reportedly- not a tall man and shorter than all of his castmates- which, if true, is some major hollywood magic at work. so dear jason priestley, if you are reading this and that internet fact is wrong, please correct me. because it is the set-piece of my repertoire of cocktail trivia, surpassing the prior set-piece that faulkner was 4’11” (for some reason, all my cocktail trivia relates to the surprisingly short heights of famous men).

jason

in conclusion, my first thought (and, yes, i’m ending at the beginning) upon reading that jason priestly is writing a memoir was this: does ahhhhhhhhndrea see the lack of interest in her memoir (she’s got to be dean of yale by now, no?) as another in the long line of injustices committed against her because she is an ambitious woman in a man’s world with an incredibly expressive face?

100_2966

 

One thought on “assorted analysis of the revelation that jason priestley is writing a memoir

  1. This calls for a complex trial and error process in discovering the eye cream that greatest suits you.
    Below are the lists of ingredients which have proved the test of time.
    This is one that has a very high customer satisfaction rate, and nearly all users are pleased with the results.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s