have you ever wondered, what is the ultimate celebrity disaster?
well, lo, THE DAILY MAIL PROVIDES.
kanye and KK had their kid. they named it saint. pete wentz also has a kid and it is also named saint. et voilà.
given that we’re not exactly new to this game, we’re all rather media literate around here and we’re all survivors of “The Sad, Solitary, Alone Taco Bell Incident” and the one time macaulay culkin was “healthy and happy” because he was seen carrying a hudson news bag at laguardia, i’m assuming we can all identify that what is happening here is actually the daily mail engaging in fervid speculation in order to conceal the fact that this story of “the ultimate celebrity disaster” is actually a story about pete wentz going to the airport yesterday afternoon.
accordingly, we are treated to this stunning narration of photographs we can look at for ourselves:
and this exciting recounting of things readily available elsewhere on the internet:
along with this patently false claim that wentz “didn’t crack a smile,” positioned directly over a photograph where he appears to be in the process of doing precisely that.
if not even the mail‘s claims of pete wentz’s lack of smile reflects reality, how can we take any of this story seriously? this factual disconnect calls everything into question.
does casual travel really involve a hoodie and an arnold schwarzenegger shirt?
is saint even really that unusual a name if two celebrity couples have now used it?
does pete wentz even care?
is this really the ultimate celebrity disaster?
and also, in what i would identify as the central, latent anxiety of this dramatic narration of these photographs of pete wentz arriving at an airport yesterday afternoon: is kanye really a genius?
(images from the dailymail.co.uk)