a stream of consciousness analysis of johnny depp and amber heard’s video message re: australian biosecurity

this is an elaborate story – popularly known as “the war on terrier“- that i don’t really want to go into but basically…

a year ago, amber heard went to visit johnny depp during the filming of pirates of the caribbean “why is this movie even existing?” 5. when she did so, she snuck her two dogs into town without doing the proper paperwork/quarantine. thus, heard violated australian biosecurity laws.

today, the ruling came down and, lo, we are given the gift of this legally required apology video…

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patty duke has died…

hey. it’s me. (hey-o, is matchbox twenty’s “long day” in your head now too?? [and did you remember rob thomas rocking the double-hoops?!? which OF COURSE sends me down memory lane right back to david silver’s lady earring…

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can it be that david silver was really on trend? or, THE HORROR, ahead of the curve?!?]).

i feel like patty duke- whom this post is actually about- would really appreciate that digression.

(Ryan Miller/Invision/AP)

(Ryan Miller/Invision/AP)

you know what i think she would not appreciate? the guardian‘s obituary. let’s take a look…

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some thoughts on kim kardashian’s selfish (emotions via britney)

please know: in my efforts to find photos from the launch of selfish to illustrate what i’m about to write about selfish, i just saw SO.MUCH.KIM.KARDASHIAN. her instagram is A LOT, yo. so i’mma call on my emotionally incontinent face celebrity double britney to ease us all in.

brit 36

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