and the part of jacqueline kennedy onassis will be played by kim kardashian or taylor swift

well, well. so it’s one of those mornings where i went to bed thinking i’d write about one thing and woke up to discover i needed to write about something else.

because last night this struck me as nothing, beyond its imminent usefulness to me.

Continue reading

on jackie’s shoes

so a new jackie book, in the genre of Books Written By Former Employees Post-Jackie’s Death (as opposed to the vair vair more controversial genre of Books Written By Disgruntled Former Employees Whilst Jackie Was Alive), is arriving in the coming weeks.

perhaps you knew this. perhaps you have seen the burst of jackie news in your jackie google news alert.  perhaps you joined me in this eyeroll…

and were also like, what the what is going on with everyone caring so much about jackie’s shoes?? 

Continue reading

on jackie, letters, love, and the english lord

holy moses, it’s been awhile.

mostly because the hubbub over this english lord nonsense was so nonsensical that it was exhausting, so i just did a big eye-roll and lived my life. a sloooooow big eye-roll mind you because the story of these letters has been like a dripping faucet, where you know it’s dripping and there’s nothing you can do about it but people keep coming into the room to say, OMG, IT’S DRIPPING!!! as though this is a revelation.

while the existence of letters is exciting and the existence of actual words is indeed a legit news story, the enthusiasm with which these particular letters and these actual words have been met- in particular, the GUSH of ink- seems a bit out of proportion with the letters and words themselves.

but then mayhaps you are like, OLINE, WHAT IS THIS OF WHICH YOU SPEAK??! let’s take this double-quick… Continue reading

the sex lives of dead people: jackie onassis and everyone, movie tie-in edition (emotions via britney)

so i have been putting this off for daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays because, HOLY MOSES… i don’t even know.

i mean, that has captured your attention, non? you are RIVETED, right?

brit 34

let’s dive in.

(via the daily mail)

(via the daily mail)

Continue reading

FACT TIME WITH OLINE: the daily mail on jacqueline kennedy’s suicidal thoughts

in the first of what may or may not become a recurring series…

FACT TIME WITH OLINE!!!

adrien-brody-fact-time-with-oline

oh hey, ya’ll. i’m a legit doctor now so please note the new, highly over-educated gravitas of my lit crit here.

good timing too because with the release of jackie, lo! a kennedy season is upon us.

translation: prepare yoself for some really ridiculously counter-factual daily mail reports.

et voilá!

Continue reading