the briefest possible commentary on biebloom (a saga in which leo “SUMMER OF MY LIFE” dicaprio is, of course, involved)

so i was toying with the idea of writing something about biebloom (ie. bedlam starring justin bieber and orlando bloom) then i heard my former forever love leo “SUMMER OF MY LIFE” dicaprio was involved in the melee and thought yeah, probably oughta.

THEN the daily mail posted this amazingly helpful diagram and companion article illustrating how pretty much most of B-list hollywood (+ my former forever love leo “SUMMER OF MY LIFE” dicaprio- who defies limitation to a single hollywood hierarchy) can all be connected to miranda kerr’s Web of Doom.

web of doom

so let’s unpack, ya’ll.

Continue reading

an open letter to lindsay lohan on the occasion of the last three weeks having been a total trainwreck of stupid

lilo ridic fur

dear lindsay lohan,

i’ve taken an accidental month-long blogging break in large part because there is just too much to take in. what with beiber’s meltdown in london, the DOC/mantel plastic bride/royal bodies smackdown, a piece i’ve been trying to write for months on celeb surgery, and then… THEN… [ominous drums] there is you. there is always you.

personally, i didn’t want to write about you, but then a friend’s mother told me i really needed to engage, so here goes.

li.lo, i can’t even look at you right now. Continue reading