gender isn’t everything. it also isn’t nothing. which is what our haste to say it isn’t everything tends to imply.
immediately we downgrade it. in trying to make it less important we make it unimportant. so that, to discuss the experience of being a woman, i have to admit that being a woman isn’t the whole of my experience, and yet establish that experience as being valid enough to warrant discussion so that you won’t dismiss me for wanting to discuss it, whilst also making it seem like i don’t think it’s everything to such an extent that you won’t want to read what i’m about to write because (1) you think it doesn’t apply to you or (2) you hate my tone.
to lure you in as a reader, as a writer i must strongly scent this conversation with notes of que sera sera and c‘est la vie.
tone is terribly important when one is a woman.